You know there’s a band out there that you’d put a stop to if you could, but for Black Tide guitarist Zakk Sandler, he’d rather exorcise his hatred of labelmates Tokio Hotel by making a playlist of cringe-worthy tracks that he deems better than anything by the pop-punk outfit. Explains Sandler, “I thought of half of them [ahead of time] and figured I can wing it on the rest, because I can pretty much say anything and it will be better than them.” So what’s with the hostility when it comes to these German pop stars? “I hate everything that they represent,” Sandler says. “They don’t care about the music that they’re making; I think it’s stupid. They’re only in it for the fame, not for the art, and they f*cking suck.” Those may be fighting words, but Zakk’s list is sure to elicit a chuckle or two. Check out his picks after the jump.
Vanilla Ice, “Too Cold” The “Ice Ice Baby”remake that Vanilla Ice did when he tried to do it all hard rock style - you know that really bad one? That’s better than Tokio Hotel.
Milli Vanilli, “Blame it on the Rain”Even though they were lip-synching, I still think those two dudes that couldn’t sing were better than Tokio Hotel.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood, “Relax”Because I hate that f*cking song, but it’s still better.
Britney Spears, “…Baby One More Time” I hate Britney Spears and I think that [choosing her] kind of proves how much I hate Tokio Hotel.
Meat Loaf, “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” A song that’s totally annoying, but at the same time it’s really awesome because you know all the words.
Michael Jackson, “You Are Not Alone” What was that Michael Jackson song with the video he did with Lisa Marie where he was naked? I hate to admit that I remember that video and seeing MJ’s white ass, but I’d rather see that than hear Tokio Hotel.
Barney, “I Love You” The theme song to Barney was really haunting as a child — everyone always played it in kindergarten and I couldn’t stand it for the life of me. I still can’t really stand it, but I would much rather hear that right now than “Monsoon.”
Cyndi Lauper, “She-Bop” Horrible song, terrible song, but at least it’s still totally awesome in an 80s way and at least it had purpose unlike Tokio Hotel. And I still don’t believe that [it’s about masturbation] at all, I think it’s just a cover-up for writing sh*tty lyrics.
Los Del Rio, “Macarena” I don’t even know the words to that stupid song, nobody knows the words to it, I mean they mumble a bunch of stuff in Spanish and I don’t know what they’re saying, but it’s better than Tokio Hotel.
Billy Ray Cyrus, “Achy Breaky Heart” That is horrible, made him tons of money, and I can’t believe it. But have you ever really listened to a Tokio Hotel record? I tried to, I made it through about four songs before I was like, this is crap. But I could listen to Billy Ray for at least an hour.
Miley Cyrus, “Fly on the Wall” And while we’re on the subject, that song is a horrible song. She lip-syncs every word, but even that’s better than Tokio Hotel.
Source; Rhapsody
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